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Sharing is caring-Let’s Share And Celebrate

This article of mine was first published on Parentune{2015} and then on Momspresso{2018}. Reposting this on the eve of Christmas.

Remember that Old Adage-“Sharing is Caring”.

The video shared below features 2 daughters of one of my close friend along with other children and is Directed by Mr.Sameer Khanna. It is a Share and Care Campaign by Epic Studios.

A celebration is all about joy and merriment. And true merriment lies in sharing and bringing happiness in other’s lives too.

One of the most vital ethics, adhering to which we all have grown up. It is crucial to encourage and cultivate sharing habits in children in their early years. Assimilating good habits in this phase will last for a lifetime. To make children learn something, parents need to practice first what they are preaching. These pocket-sized miniatures emulate their parents and elders in the family. That being the case, parents need to turn into role models themselves and lead them by example.

The tiny-tots may not be comfortable sharing their personal stuff at first. But once they get the hang of the essence, it will surely taper their stress. It’s tough, as with so many facets of parenthood, but we need to instill this crucial moral from a very early age. Although it won’t happen tout de suite, practice will eventually develop compassion and generosity. The wonderful creation of God called the Universe, where we reside is also shared by animals and birds along with human beings and we peacefully co-exist. This can reasonably be backed by the famous quote of Leonard Nimoy-“The miracle is this: the more we share, the more we have”.

Use these inklings to your advantage when it comes to inculcating sharing habits amongst kids.

  • As goes the saying “Monkey see, Monkey do”. Parents share their pieces of stuff with others and so does the little one. Creating opportunities and setting examples before children will help them become proficient.
  • Joseph, Harry, and their group mates are having trouble sharing their toys. Introducing Timer can resolve the issue. Set the timer to say for 1-2min.Ask the older ones to wait for long. Every child will revel in for the equal amount of time being granted to them and it will encourage fair play as well.
  • On a heightened table place some candles(to avoid the risk of burning). Light one of them and with the help of that candle try to light as many of them. Observe how the light of the first candle does not reduce when shared. Au contraire it lightened the entire room.
  • Applaud the infant when they act in accordance with your expectations. Without a miss, throw in lots of accolades and attention.
  • Children who had received an immense attachment from parents during the early years will turn out to be generous in the years to come. Young ones will shell out as they have been bestowed with.
  • In the mixing plate of watercolors, try combining two basic primary colors. Watch how altogether a totally new color has been obtained.
  • Respect the child’s attachment for certain prized belongings of theirs. It is totally normal for kids to be stingy towards some toys while they are liberal about others. Forcing them to lend out their precious possessions will unquestionably foster resentment, not generosity.
  • In some instances amidst the brawls amongst the kids, it is better not to meddle. Let them come to an argument by giving them time and space. Stay a bystander lest the situation is deteriorating.

 

Hope these tips will be useful in imparting the life lesson. After all the quote by Mother Teresa precisely educates-“God gives us things to share, God doesn’t give us things to hold”.

Happy Sharing!!!

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Fareha Nousheen

 

 

 

Be A Kid With Kids

Do you miss your childhood days and a whole lot of fun?

Of course, you would say, playing “Kancha” and “Gilli Danda” under the Sun.

Those were the days loaded with merry-making, chirping  and cheering with buddies

Bereft of all worries and apprehensions, but studies

We elders  can’t stand even for a minute to let go off our kids out of sight

Whereas  Children demand the freedom to hop, to jump and run around even during the night

Imposing rules and expressing anger for the wrong deed does more harm than good

However, allowing them to voice their concern must be the practice followed by every parent should

Why not simply turn into a kid when with kids and understand their small but cherishing world

Rather  than wrest  their  precious laughter and pleasure of exploring  the ball when hurled

This way we elders will not only get to relive those precious early days but also move closer to their innocent heart

Undeniably  it is a well-known fact  that these days  kids are way too smart

So go ahead and mingle with these little kids by being yourself one

As  your kids will move out of your nest once grown up, be it either Daughter or your Son

 

Creepy Crawlies

Creepy Crawlies, these grey brown parasites which reach about 2mm in length are undoubtedly an unwelcome visitor in your child’s head. Yes,you got it right, I am referring to the Headlice. An itchy scratchy infestation of headlice is one difficult issue to deal with, a very common problem among kids. It is very contagious and annoying. Now that I have put my daughter Soha to school, along with other hygiene factors which I want to check, this issue also holds a prominent place. Though I am excited even at thought of my tutti-fruity embarking on this new journey, making lots of little friends and learning new things at her school, the concern of possibly catching headlice also can’t be ignored. Studies suggest that the chance of catching these pests during childhood is higher and they prefer to nest in clean hair.

Creepy Crawlies

Yes, it is difficult to deal with the head lice but they are not dangerous. They don’t spread disease. Itching and scratching may leave red marks on the scalp. It is the duty of every parent to inform the nursery if their child has been affected by lice and get the necessary treatment done. Informing the staff helps to check other children from getting affected. Many schools do regular lice checks, examining every child’s head once or twice a year, but it is good to be sure from your end to confirm their findings. The school authorities may send a warning note about someone having lice in his /her class. Check as early as possible and treat the whole family to get rid of it.

creepy crawlies

About the size of a sesame seed, these wingless parasites live on the scalp, feeding on the blood and spread via head to head contact. The females lay eggs called nits that resemble the particles of sand. Eggs are laid near the shaft of the hair to give the required amount of temperature to hatch. The tiny creatures are hard to spot but can be inspected through wet combing. Parting the hair into different sections and combing from root to tip with a lice comb(the teeth of lice comb are very close to nab the lice) is the most effective tool for finding lice. They grow at a very faster rate and hence you need to comb every other day to catch the newly hatched lice. This routine should be carried thoroughly for weeks. Lice removal lotions are available at the pharmacy which is effective at removing the headlice. Yet some chemicals have been proved to be totally immune. So choose your products wisely. Take the advice of your pharmacist. When treated properly, it will surely be out of your child’s head sooner or later.

 

Mother’s Love-#No Conditions Apply

It is verily said that “God could not be everywhere so he created Mother’s”. For every child, his mother means the world to him. Mother is one such person in our life, whom we can count on, for all our countless needs and demands. She is the one, who is endowed with the precious gift of bringing a new life into this world, bearing all the pains and sufferings she has to undergo in delivering a child. And the affair does not stop here. The hardship every mother is confronted with in rearing a child certainly needs no mention.

Mother's Love

Mother’s are one of a kind. They are bestowed with superpowers of multi-tasking. She is on her toes 24*7 to attend every call of her child, never on the complaining side about the problems she encounters. They are armed with ears to listen to non-judgmentally and mouth to always speak the right thing. They have arms to cuddle and for hugs. Their hands are raised to give blessings to her child. They are always there with us during our thick and thin, holding our hands guiding us on the right path. And affection fanatics that they are, leave no stone unturned in living up to every expectation of her children. With such varied elements and roles at her disposal, she definitely needs a bow down and salutes from everyone. As they say “Maa ke Kadmon tale Jannat hai”.

Mother's Love

While it is every mother’s aspiration to be blessed with a normal and healthy child, prayers of a few mother’s remains unanswered. There is a portion of mother’s who are endowed with immense stoicism to raise an offspring with special needs, to nurture a descendant who is differently abled so that he gets along on equal terms(to some extent) with this fast-paced world. The long haul and battle, a mother with a less fortunate child confront every single day can’t be construed.”Life is a challenge, you should put up your best performance to survive”-it’s the life of a mother of differently abled child summed up in a nutshell.

Mother's Love

It is not an experience anyone would expect to have. It is rather like an unplanned journey. Many a time, a mother struggles for an acceptance-a quintessential factor which makes or breaks their psychological make-up. Needless to say that advising one to accept the challenge as life brings along, is easier said than done. However, as a parent, she accepts this by finding strength and support system to adapt and handle the stresses and challenges that accompany her child’s illness or disability, maintaining the facade of celebrating differences. That’s how a mother is-devoted, sympathetic, supportive and the list goes on. A mother can’t help but love their children, not because of a forced consciousness to love them intentionally but because of the linear force of life connecting them. In loving their children a mother is second to none.

Fareha Nousheen

 

Setting Boundaries for Children’s Relationship to Opposite Sex

We have turned parents now but most of us still remember our first crush. Those days of infatuation gets imprinted on the mind forever. This tender age needs your sincere guidance and supervision, in the absence of which can lead to a lifetime of consequences for the children. So below are few points to navigate our not so childlike yet not so grown-up children into the world of the opposite sex.

Setting boundaries for the opposite sex

Debriefing Sets the Tone

The boundaries begin with you, your choices, your limits, your rules. Remind yourself, you are a parent and your child doesn’t need to one of their buddies. They need parents who love them enough to occasionally cramp their style. It takes courage you certainly won’t win any popularity contests with your children. And very importantly you need to set standards for your kids that you will keep yourself. Otherwise, your children will ask “why should I live by the standard that you yourself don’t follow”. The motive is to keep them safe while helping them learn the proper way to honor and respect the opposite sex.

Help the child understand they are at the age of puberty where the rush of adrenaline and on the power of hormones together becomes the recipe for disaster, the repercussions of which will be for a lifetime. You need to define parameters for them that reflect holiness and purity. You have the power to influence the most important group. And you start by determining what you believe and what standards you want to establish for your everyday lives.

Supervise Social Media Interaction

Parents should supervise regularly and check social media account. You should not allow them to access any social media without your knowledge. Either or both the parent should have access to their laptops, mobiles any tech gadgets. And if you suspect that your young teen is linked to someone who has blocked you from having a look at their walls, then take a call and immediately end such a relationship with your child.

Setting boundaries for the opposite text

Access over the Browser History

Well, this is the first thing mischievous tot learns to do on the computer. You need to know where your child is doing his or her surfing on the Internet. Make sure she/he browses the net when either of the parents is around. The web is a vast playground of debauchery and horrors and it’s teenagers prerogative to peep into the vast cornucopia of potentially hazardous material. It becomes viable to install net nannying tools to shelter our child, which is readily available.

Supervised Group Gatherings

It is crucial to play a role in determining with whom your kids spend time with. If you don’t, then don’t expect to have a say in the friends they choose as teenagers. Encourage them to know their counterparts, so that they can fathom their values, beliefs, morals, passions which will assist them to stick to like-minded fellows. They can have good fun with their opposite sex at the time of social interaction where your son can learn the importance of opening doors, pulling out chairs and your girl can learn how she is supposed to be treated and respected by a young man.

It is important for both the parents to be on the same page to steer the wheels of your teens to the safe path.

Ways To Protect Your Child from Cyber Crime

My daughter just turned 4. Like any other kid, she too is fascinated with cheesy youtube videos. She is only allowed for merely 5-10 minutes a day that too only sometimes to distract her mind and mood. But she is growing and I am extremely concerned about how to take control of things and save her from becoming a juvenile victim of internet dangers, as the Internet is accessible nowadays 24/7 from various mediums like laptops, tablets, smart-phones.

It becomes harder to protect the child in the absence of any fool-proof strategies, but I hope by following a few practices which I am sharing below, will reduce the chances of your child becoming a victim.

Use of Parental Control Software

The first and foremost point to consider while deciding your child’s online safety is to go for a good Parental Control Software which will make their activity much more transparent. It records your Child’s Internet Activity and blocks inappropriate material. A more advanced version offers many superior features including the ability to restrict access to certain keywords, games, and websites. Some functionalities also report about children’s activity online and alert parents via text message whenever they perform any restricted function. Speak to your child that his/her activity is going to be monitored while being online and what are your expectations from them.

Click  With Caution

Talk to your kids about not clicking on the links in emails or download any unnecessary information. Teach them how to hover your mouse over the link to make sure it is from a reputable address. Few signs should be kept in mind like spelling mistakes, odd emails from popular companies, messages urging quick action are all phishing tactics to install malware on your device. Before clicking on anything doubtful, check out the company’s website or call the customer-service department to enquire about the email sent to you. Fortunately, most antivirus software prevents such kinds of emails from reaching you.

Bookmark The Favorite Sites

If a child surfs the net more than the normal time chances are there they will come across inappropriate images or other unsuitable material. It is advised to bookmark the sites which are regularly visited to avoid spam.

Never Ever Reveal Passwords To Anyone

A moment of poor decision risks all the important information stored on the device. Teach your children the importance of keeping passwords a secret. Create passwords that have a combination of upper and lower case, symbols, and numbers to confuse password-stealing bots that scour the web. 

If you are looking for ways to keep your kids away from screen, you can try the open-ended play ideas using flashcards.

Be a Good Netizen

The Internet has become the new playground for some people who don’t hold back anything, creating scenarios of unwanted situations most of the time. Bullying, Ranting doesn’t stop there even. Unfortunately, at times, children become prey to such Cyber Bullying. In-spite of all essential Cyber safety skills, kids are kids and mistakes can happen. Teach your child to never be impolite or aggressive while being online. Never participate in negative posts.

The law protects Cyber-Bullying victims, so they can take help from the judiciary. Make them comfortable enough to speak out for themselves, whenever faced with such a situation and help someone who is going through this phase.

Get In Control of Social Media Platforms

Social Media is the new Oil for the Internet these days. And since it’s launch there has been a tremendous increase of its account holders throughout the globe. For children, such platforms act as magnets and online child predators are always on the lookout for such naïve targets for their illicit, unlawful and unjust motives.

Try to get your children away from social media as long as possible. Else if they have accounts, monitor your child’s activities and keep a check on the privacy settings. Keep it to the highest level of privacy. Teach your kids not to follow or accept a friend’s request from an unknown sender.

There are many risks associated with social accounts but stalking and bullying are the real dangers you need to protect your kids from. Displaying current location, which normally everyone does, is not the safest thing to do, as it helps online child predators to know your whereabouts. To deter such actions, disable location services on your child’s phone and apps.

 

Examination Phobia!!! Ward it Off

Come March, and the roads appear to have shed half their traffic. It is high-stress time due to examinations not only for students but also for parents, teachers and the whole society in general. Unless there is a situation of dire emergency, people avoid going out of the house altogether. Cable connections disconnected, children parks and play area almost barren,malls-theatres close to empty, outings-recreations postponed and not to forget the use of gadgets restricted vehemently by seniors in the family.

 Stress During Exam

What is Examination Phobia

Parents are very academically inclined. Academic success is considered the benchmark of a students capacity. More marks=smarter students. The potential of the student is always under the magnifying glass. In the rat race of securing a place for meaningful survival and to acquire the comforts and luxuries of life, education is the only key to it.

This leads to an increased sense of responsibility to be the academic achievers which are the ultimate cause of stress amongst students. Parental expectations, Societal demands, Peer pressure, differentiation of faculties at educational institutions, improper time management, erroneous lifestyle are few factors contributing to increased anxiety amongst children who become the worst victims of this kind of Phobia.

Stress during Exam

The repercussions of Examination Phobia can range from an increased level of anxiety, loss of sleep and diet, low concentration level, amnesia, excessive nervousness, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and in few cases, physical problems include diarrhoea, vomiting, increased heart rate sometimes continuous stress could also lead to Depression.

A minimum level of anxiety or fear is necessary for anybody to perform better at an optimum level, on the other hand, extreme fear and anxiety have a negative effect and block students memories even if they are well prepared.

Well, this situation is very severe, even more than we think. Ignorance will only lead to critical situations. It would be better if we take notice of it and look out for ways to positively deal with the situation rather than make the child more defiant by the repetitive insistence to study.

Addressing the issue with little understanding both from parents, teachers are surely going to make the phase more tolerable and enjoyable.

  • Examinations do not define your success or failure in life. Academic success definitely is required to secure a valuable position for a job but it is not the end of everything. There are loads of real-life stories who are successful in their life and to remind you, they also had an unsuccessful attempt at their academic examinations. So judging and evaluating a person’s capabilities on the basis of marks should not be the only criteria. making use of opportunities, soft skills, networking do more than marks.
  • There is more to life than exams. Life always throws at you innumerable scenarios for us to make the best use of opportunities. Like many other exams, you have faced earlier and many more you are yet to face in the future, it’s just an examination. Losing your mind over something which is not unique and commonly encountered should not be the matter.
  • There is always a second chance. There is no shame in getting a second chance to clear the exams. Do not punish yourself with guilt-laden thoughts. When we succeed in life no one remembers that you had 2 or 3 back papers. It’s just our own thinking about the situation which makes us feel shameful. The result of one exam can’t lessen anyone’s value.
  • Every individual has different potential. He/She may not succeed academically but can be an expert at an area that interests him/her. This is what we call talent. It is the responsibility of Parents, Teachers and the society as a whole to help a child unleash their hidden potential and to prosper in life with their distinctive traits.

 

Having said that, please do not assume that becoming aimless, goalless and unmotivated is what is expected of you as a student. In every stage of life, we are expected to fulfill certain duties and perform certain roles. To enjoy that stage well, carrying these will give you true joy.

Stress During Exam

Valuable points to deal with the Examination Phobia

  • Believe in yourself. You are no less than anyone else. When other’s can achieve, you can too. Plan, Practice and Revise, seek guidance, trust yourself, you are sure to succeed.
  • Manage your time well. Stay focused. Take rest in between. Go for a walk, get yourself some recreation, have a proper diet, get enough sleep. It will boost your learning power.
  • Don’t panic. It will only worsen the situation. Take a deep breathe and take one step at a time. Attempt those questions, you know first, keep the tough ones for later. Revise before submitting your answer sheet.
  • Familiarise yourself with the exam pattern by practicing mock questions. It will increase your awareness and you will be ready for the final one.

 

Strive for progress and learning, not perfection. Get over the myth that “Success in exam is a predictor of success in life”.

It is for parents to let their child know that their child’s grade does not determine their worth. Believe in your child and he/she will believe in themselves. This will lead to better development of the personality of the child and will enable them to face the challenges in life in a positive manner.

 

 

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